I linger in daydream, with my tale of a alien princess being swooped away by a stunning space cowboy while grieving the disparition of her beloved mentor.
I see great adorned rooms, I see long travelling shots of green land and swooshing pictures of immaculate space and pretty planets, I see the cowboy in his sparkling space suit and his charming accent.
But, the part where I have to decide what rules apply and how the alien Princess’s world is governed is really boring. My princess is supposed to live in a beautiful endangered peaceful republic and I don’t even know what that means ! I’m sure Bianca’s wit’s gonnaperfect for the civilized polish I need.
Shiny Duchess : B !!! I need your help !
Dazzling Bianca : Not now D. I’m in the middle of something.
Shiny Duchess : B. seriously, this is an emergency.
Dazzling Bianca : Unless your cat’s throat’s been split with a rusty razor, I don’t give a sh*t.
Ok I need a bait. Something valuable, something precious, something eternal.
Shiny Duchess : I’ll name a character after you.
Dazzling Bianca : Try harder. Sexy werewolf is taking off his shirt.
Shiny Duchess : I’ll name the alien princess after after you.
Dazzling Bianca : Ok. Now the scene’s spoiled. What ?
I swear I can hear her exasperated sigh. Time to be smooth. Think D, think.
Shiny Duchess : My story is a mess. I’m quitting.
Dazzling Bianca : Fine ! Your misery days are over. Have a pumpkin spice latte, watch Days of our life and please tell me more about this young gardner your neighbor has hired.
Now I’ve got her attention.
Shiny Duchess : I’m too bummed. I cannot forsake Alien princess. She’s become so real to me. She’s like my grown up weird baby, like a teenager who needs guidance and advice.
I’m so slick. The teenager card. I know B. Can’t resist that.
Dazzling Bianca : What’s wrong ?
Shiny Duchess : My world building sucks. I don’t know how to chose rules.
Dazzling Bianca : Not a problem. Watch Star Wars and steal from the Naboos.
Shiny Duchess : The what ???
Dazzling Bianca : Don’t bother. Take everything from earth, put it in space, dress the characters with fancy clothes and give them tortured names. Don’t forget to add space sauriens for the exotic factor.
That’s a lot of work.
Shiny Duchess : A tyranny would be funnier to write. Less rules, more drama…
Dazzling Bianca : Endangered Republic does not exclude rise of tyranny and treachery. Again, Star Wars, Naboo…
What the hell is she talking about ?
Shiny Duchess : Can you list me what are the main themes of world building ?
Dazzling Bianca : Police, army, clergy, civil society…
Shiny Duchess : I can chose one out of the list ?
I’m picking Clergy. They always make impossible love stories look so romantic.
Dazzling Bianca : No, this is not a line up for suspect identification. You have to work on them all.
Shiny Duchess : But isn’t writing supposed to be fun ?
Dazzling Bianca : Yeah, like open heart surgery in a full room of vultures.
I feel she’s mocking me right now.